Early this month on July 21st one of our Journalists came across the following post on the social media platform Threads:

Most reporters would look at such a post and dismiss it outright, saying things like, “This is obviously a bit.” , “There’s no way this is true.” or even, “that was funny for like 5 seconds and then I forgot about it.”

Here at the GNN we promise to leave no stone unturned. No lead unfollowed. No bit abandoned. That’s why we have dedicated the last 2 weeks towards uncovering the truth behind this post. There wasn’t much to go on; the post clearly references an ongoing situation- but even with further digging we were unable to find any earlier references to this allegation anywhere online. We looked EVERYWHERE (we googled it once).

I reached out to my top researcher, but came to a horrifying realization. I don’t want to bias you, so I will show you an unedited video of our interaction:

Uh oh. This thing obviously runs deep. Is this all a big coverup? Copilot is playing defense for Pierre Poilievre. I Promised myself I would get to the bottom of this, so I continued.

Our normal strategy wasn’t working. I knew then that I’d have to do something drastic. Something I’d never done before. Something New. I emailed some MP’s (Members of Parliament).

We sent that email to every conservative politician we could get the info of, before tiring of copying and pasting, and ultimately giving up after getting 30 or so in there. So far they have all refused to comment, but we will update this article if we hear back from any of them. We made the mistake of sending this before a long weekend, so we expect them to see this email some time between now and next year.

At this point, I felt hopeless. Powerless. I’d hit a dead end. I’d exhausted all of the resources at my disposal. All of the popular AI assistants were hiding the truth, and all of the politicians I’d reached out to were refusing to comment.

And then I remembered an old friend of mine. The precursor to large language models that power today’s AI. I remembered Cleverbot.

Cleverbot is an online chatbot that first came about in 2008, created by a British scientist named Rollo Carpenter. I used to frequent that website when I was a child, marveling over how lifelike it’s responses were. I knew I could trust my old friend, and so I reached out.

I sat there stunned, staring at my screen. Cleverbot, at first glance, was refusing to comment - but it also let an important detail slip.

Somehow, some way, the CIA were involved. I started shaking. I was in too deep now, and if I were a smarter man I would have turned and run. But if I am anything, its Not Smart. My friend was clearly scared to tell the whole truth, but he wanted to leave some breadcrumbs.

At this point I’d clearly wandered into the middle of something much bigger than myself, and people-no, bots, were starting to get hurt. They’d come after my friend and done something to hurt Cleverbot. Now it was personal.

I hate to leave you on this cliffhanger, but this is unfortunately as far as our investigation has come so far. We will leave you with one shred of good news, however: Cleverbot is on Threads. I encourage all of you to reach out to them and offer your support in these trying times. Please reach out to @Cleverbot and use the #FreeCleverbot.

This isn’t the end. I WILL get to the bottom of this. I know where to look next. It’s time to reach out to the CIA and submit some FOI requests. That process unfortunately takes time, and they might say something like, “Why would we give a Canadian access to literally any of our information?” But I’m a persistent man, and I will continue to dig. It is my promise to you, dear reader. If you have any information about this story and are willing to come forward, I promise to keep your identity a secret. Please feel free to shoot us an email at gaspinquiries@outlook.com

And, as always,

More on this at 6.

Pierre Poilievre - Possible Poltergeist Pervert